Remembrance
by Nuraicha
Summary: "I'm going to ask a fool question, but I'm very curious so I hope I can get a proper answer from you."


Wow, wow! This is my first fic in English with Eleven and River and I'm proud I finally wrote again in this language. This is also my first Eleven/River story, and it's quite probable that I'll revisit them sometime because I love the character of River Song and lately I'm trying to write more stuff with Eleven.

I'd like to thank my beta, Veronica, who always beta my fics not matter pairing, fandom or rating. Thank you very much! You're amazing 3

Hope you enjoy!

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**Remembrance**

"I'm going to ask a fool question, but I'm very curious so I hope I can get a proper answer from you"

The Doctor looked up at her, saying goodbye to his fish custard. He guessed from River's tone that this would be a "serious" conversation.

"Mmh?", his non-committal sound didn't push River away, who smiled brightly.

"Have you ever met another person like me? I mean, a person who was united to you by... a deep bond, but that you didn't stay all the time with them, just random meetings like this?", she waved a hand, gesturing at the perfect landscape around them. The Doctor had taken her on a picnic to a purple moon with hundreds of valleys, mountains and golden waterfalls.

The Doctor felt his heart sink a bit at that question, even if he should have anticipated one day she would ask something like that. River was one of the people that know him best and she wasn't innocent enough to believe she could be the only one special person in his life.

"Yeah, of course. I'm a time traveler, I've met a lot of people around different ages," he knew she wouldn't be satisfied with that answer, but he could try.

River laughed with that characteristic sound the Doctor knew it meant 'you're silly if you think you'll stop me'.

"Come on, Doctor. You know I want you to elaborate"

"You're very gossipy!" He protested, even if he knew his resistance was useless.

River expression softened with that statement, a shadow of melancholy covering her features: "I just want to know more about you, because I care"

The Doctor swallowed an apology that he knew River didn't want to hear and nodded briefly.

"I have known this person for many centuries. Sometimes we could meet almost every week, and others we wouldn't see each other again in years. Last time we were together was before I regenerated", he explained, not really wanting to enter into detail.

But River wasn't going to be satisfied only with that short reply. She quirked an eyebrow, her mind working: "This friend of yours... Was she one of your kind? I thought your last regeneration was when your species had already..." She opted for dropping the subject there, knowing how tired the Doctor was of all the 'I'm the last of the Time Lords' topic.

The Doctor couldn't help but chuckle with the assumption River had made.

"What?" She asked, clueless.

"It wasn't a friend, but my best enemy"

"Oh! I thought your great enemy was –"

"And it wasn't a she, but a he", the Doctor cut her, smiling softly and being proud of the clear shock this had caused on River. "He was a Time Lord. And we were friends, at least when we were children. He was my best friend and I adored him", the Doctor's voice dropped at every word, and River had to struggle to hear him. He wasn't looking at her anymore; instead his gaze was lost looking at the horizon, where the sun of that system could slowly be seen setting. He was the very picture of pain and River's heart sank at this sight.

"What happened, Doctor?" She asked carefully, in a low voice like his.

"Stuff", he replied vaguely, wincing as if something actually had hurt him. "I made a decision and he became something I didn't like. And he started haunting me because of his hatred towards me. We have been struggling for centuries", he sighed and another small smile appeared in his features. "Once they called us 'the enmity of ages'; I think it's a good name for he and I"

River leaned forward, sitting by his side and the Doctor looked at her with surprise, as if he almost had forgotten she was there. River smiled reassuringly and took one of his hands between hers.

"You miss him a lot, don't you?"

"Of course I don't! Why would I? He's my enemy! I should be relieved he isn't around anymore!" The Doctor reasoned, his voice showing an annoyed tone, but avoiding River's eyes.

She ignored him and squeezed his hand."I'm sure he will come back sometime"

"But he can't!" The Doctor exclaimed, sitting up and waving his hands. "He can't, River! Don't you see he's gone? This time it's for real, we won't meet again and we didn't talk about –"

The Doctor shut up abruptly, as if someone had just punched him. River stood, worried about the Doctor's expression. She hadn't seen him this devastated in a long time, and she guessed at what was the real reason behind his mood.

Hesitantly, she approached at him and hugged him from behind. The Doctor relaxed his tense position a bit, but River knew how far he was from feeling good.

"He will return Doctor. If he's as stubborn as you, he will come to haunt you again", River reassured him, even if she knew that was a strange thing to desire.

She couldn't see it, but the Doctor smiled and quietly muttered:

"Maybe this time I will let him catch me"

River swallowed, not fully understanding what the Doctor meant. Was it normal to want to keep playing at a potentially deadly game?

"But he could kill you", she pointed out, moving her arms to his shoulders and gently shaking them.

The Doctor simply shrugged.

"Doctor... What do you feel about him?" River finally asked the question that had been repeating in her mind since the conversation started.

The Doctor tensed again, like if he had been punched, and turned violently, surprising River, who took a step back after seeing a very different kind of fire in his eyes.

His gaze was icy, but deep inside there was a raw and fiery emotion that River couldn't understand. "We have to go now. It's getting chilly", he simply said, his eyes wandering around the leftovers of their meal.

River nodded and helped him to pick up their picnic gear.

They were silent while the Doctor drove the TARDIS, and River didn't know what to do. She wanted to apologise, but she also was curious to know the name of the person who could make the Doctor feel that way.

It wasn't jealousy, not all; she had assumed long ago that her relationship with the Doctor wasn't a normal one and he could feel deep emotions for people that weren't at the moment around him. It was her instinct of preservation: she would fight against anybody who would try to kill him, so she wasn't very keen about the fact that the Doctor longed for his enemy.

"River..."

She looked at him, surprised that he was finally breaking the silence. Although his voice was still cold.

"Yes?"

"I know you're still thinking of the topic you brought up before. And I know you want to ask me more things; please, don't do it. If you feel something for me and you don't want me to be upset, don't bring that topic ever back."

She nodded, admitting her defeat.

"As you want, Doctor. But I won't let anyone hurt you", she added, and the Doctor smiled slightly at her boldness.

"That would be an interesting fight: the Master versus River Song..." He muttered for himself, chuckling.

However, River heard him, and she promised herself that she wouldn't forget that name. If that Master returned, he would have to pass over River's corpse if he wanted to kill her husband.


End file.
